Showing Off

Here’s a good thing to do to impress junior attorneys. First, invite one of them to come to your office when you are having a conference call.  Then, during the call, occasionally press the mute button while the opposing attorney is talking and make some snide remarks about that attorney or their firm (e.g., “What an idiot.”, “This is the kind of crap I would expect from this second-tier shop.”). Be sure to stretch your arms expansively, lean way back in your chair and kick at least one foot up on your desk at some point during the discussion. When you have the floor, stand up and pace around your office while you are talking, occasionally caressing or polishing one of your deal toys. When the call wraps, say to the junior attorney, “Did you get all that?” Then, immediately turn to your computer and begin composing an email. Another way to impress junior attorneys is to finance a used Porsche.